Ankh You Very Much

THE NEW BLOG!

2009-04-12T15:49:00.001+01:00

Ankh You Very Much has died...

As the legend says: when one blog dies, another is born to take its place...

So you may now want to go to my new blog:

THE ANKH OF TOM
http://ankhoftom.blogspot.com

More Paint That Shit Gold goodness!

2009-02-10T12:39:00.001Z

Snow-One More Metal (see what I did there?!)

2008-12-15T21:42:00.005Z

After I blew up my snowman [insert snowjob joke here], I pimped that mother up! Rawk on!

And now for some Twisted Sister!

DoodleBitch vol II : The Scribbled Shizznit

2008-12-13T23:12:00.002Z

FREE TYLER!

2008-12-12T00:11:00.000Z

TOUR UPDATE - TYLER GOES TO JAIL!!!

At least it happened AFTER the awesome show in Plymouth!

An Opposing Viewpoint

2008-12-11T11:35:00.000Z

Check out a new article on Something Awful about feminism HERE. Definitly worth a read.

DoodleBitch vol I

2008-12-09T20:36:00.000Z

I doodle a lot...

BLESSED BE MUTHAFUCKAS!

2008-12-07T00:10:00.001Z

Went to see Blessed By A Broken Heart at Plymouth White Rabbit tonight. In a word... AWESOME!

The openers Morning After were impressive. But the singer looked like a girl when he was in the crowd! And one of the guitarists was practicaly a midget!

The were followed by the mighty Fei Commodo, whos singer was like a crazed ape runing round the stage, climbing on speakers, hanging from the ceiling, and bouncing off walls. Maybe Darwin was right...?

The next artist was Lennon, the singer from Devils Gift (the rest of the band were in America). She sang and played the keyboard, and it was beautiful. Shame have the audience weren't interested and would shut up!

She was followed by We Are Ghosts. I was not impressed, altho the crowd seemed to love them. The singer kept doing this thing with his finger that reminded me of the 'Redrum" bits from The Shining. He also kept thanking us for coming to see them... but we were here to see BBABH!

Finaly, Blessed came on. WOW! Singalong hair-metal-core that reminds us how fun life can be! And they gave in to our request at the end for Mic Skillz II! We were getting crushed at the front of the stage, eventually people were on stage with the band! I'm still covered in Tony Gambino's sweat! Unfortunatly it was ruined a bit by some mental jerkoff who was determined to crowdsurf and almost crushed people while doing so. But the night was fantastic!

My voice is currently shot through all the screaming and sining, but it was worth it. Plus I bought the Mic Skillz t-shirt and the Fei Commodo album. WHOOP!

Heres some of the piccys I took with my terrible camera-phone:

New Bodom fan site!

2008-12-07T00:07:00.000Z

Check out http://www.hell-hole.com/ for exlusive Children Of Bodom stuff, such as mps, pictures, competitions, and a flash game! B-E-A-fucking-utiful!

REEEEEMIXXXX

2008-12-03T01:21:00.000Z

Cage: Left it To Us (feat El-p, Aesop Rock, Yak Ballz & Tame 1) [Lord Darko Remix]

(Bonus) Ren & Stimpy: LOG! [Lord Darko Mix]

Check out my pants remix of Cage's awesome track off Hells Winter (go buy that album now!). Made with Cakewalk mixer free on the Hells Winter bonus disk.

The earliest LOLCAT known to man...

2008-12-02T20:17:00.000Z

What’s Delaying My Dinner?

This captioned cat picture postcard was found by Tracy Angulo in a Seattle antique store. Tracy tells us that the photograph is from 1905, which would make this officially the oldest cat picture with a caption, AKA lolcat, that we’ve seen.

The differences are clear. Proper grammar and a more formal tone was in vogue back then. But the similarities to modern-day kitten struggles and lolcats are amazing. ALL CAPS is still cool, but most importantly, she also no can has cheezburger. More than a hundred years later, all that’s changed is the spelling.
Evekitteh, we hope you got a good dinner.

via MyCatWearsClothes

Everyone loves a slinky!

2008-11-26T11:46:00.000Z

Slinky Cat!

Human Slinky!

Ace Ventura Slinky!

Japanese Slinky Chair!

LOG!

2008-11-23T00:19:00.000Z

Paint that Shit Gold

2008-11-22T17:57:00.000Z

The website for Atmosphere's new album allows you to tag websites and enter your designs to a gallery. Here's my entry:

A lil' immature I know, but "Weezy" does my head in! An advert on UK TV actually calls Wayne "the future of hiphop"! The guy is a cock! Nuff said!

For some decent Hip Hop, check out: Atmosphere, Sage Francis, Cage, El-P, Aesop Rock, Mars Ill, Jurassic 5, KRS-One, Ill Bill...

Speaking of Ill Bill, heres the new video for 'My Uncle'

Long time no post...

2008-11-22T17:43:00.000Z

Bad Biology (click for trailer) looks like quite an awesome film, in a "Damn this is stupid!" kinda way...

The best film I've seen recently is: Netherbeast Incorporated. It's out on DVD early next year, so keep an eye out for it.

Saw 5 is good, not great. Shit ending... Hopefully the series will be saved from shittyness when Saw 6 comes out next October.

Will Smith is hoping to remake the classic Oldboy. I pray that he gives up on the idea, a western version would never work.

Dead Set - STARTS TONIGHT ON E4! 10pm

2008-10-27T12:58:00.000Z

Britain has a big problem. The dead are returning to life and attacking the living. The people they kill get up and kill – and it’s spreading like wildfire. Curiously, there are a few people left in Britain who aren’t worried about any of this – that’s because they’re the remaining contestants in Big Brother. Cocooned in the safety of the Big Brother house, they’re blissfully unaware of the horrific events unfolding outside. Until an eviction night when all hell breaks loose.

Kelly, (Jaime Winstone) the production runner working on Big Brother finds herself caught in the impossible position of trying to fend off the walking dead alongside the remaining housemates, Davina herself, a host of former Big Brother housemates, her producer boss Patrick (Andy Nyman) and boyfriend Riq (Riz Ahmed).

Over the ensuing days, in a cruel reflection of the game show they thought they were entering, the contestants fall victim, one by one, to the hungry masses outside. Staying alive requires teamwork – which is tricky when you’re a group specifically selected by TV producers to wind each other up.

http://www.e4.com/deadset/

Nokturnal Bacon Throne

2008-10-22T21:24:00.000+01:00

This HAS to be a parody! Watch corpsepainted fools chase a puppy, play on the swings, harrass a small girl, watch porn, do drugs and cover a dining chair with rashers of bacon - whilst performing a 'song' I'm assuming is about a chair draped with bacon!

Check out Morbid Anal Fogs myspace for more kvlt blackness of this retarded nature!

Horse gets head stuck in a tree!!!

2008-10-21T20:40:00.000+01:00

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3229053/Horse-gets-head-stuck-in-tree.html

What What in the Butt!

2008-10-19T14:13:00.000+01:00

Butters performing What What in the Butt on a new episode of southpark:

aaand.... what happened next:

Jiggysaw!

2008-10-13T23:58:00.000+01:00

If you're as sad as me, you'll be glad to know that you can get a personalized message from Jigsaw sent to your friends/family via email or phone. Shame the phone service doesn't work here in the uk. http://saw5.varitalk.com/

PG Porn

2008-10-13T23:53:00.000+01:00

Nailing Your Wife
(There isn't any sex in this, don't worry or whip it out)

Nailing Your Wife

Random Webcomic 1

2008-10-13T13:13:00.001+01:00

From http://xkcd.com

Frankie Boyle DVD... FINALLY!

2008-10-11T14:37:00.000+01:00

It's been a long time coming, but Frankie Boyle (the star of Mock the Week) has his first live DVD coming out in November. It's out November 10th, which should be made a world holiday - maybe World Comedy Day... or Death by Laughter - due to the fact that this is the same day that Bill Bailey releases his new DVD (and Family Guy 7 is released that day too).

In celebration of whats to come, heres some clips of Mr Boyle:

Diary of Anne Frank of the Dead

2008-10-11T14:26:00.000+01:00

Check out the winner of Best Short-Short at Dragon*Con Film Festival 2008! It kicks more ass than an ass kicking machine!

Love, War, & the Ghost of Whitey Ford

2008-10-03T23:54:00.001+01:00

Everlasts new album has just been released here in the UK, and it owns! For those who want a mixture of hiphop, country and blues - this is an album to get!

Everlast: Letters Home from the Garden of Stone

And for those who need a history lesson, Everlast was one of the emcees in House of Pain:

All three members of House of Pain are now in La Coka Nostra:

THe Evolution of Dance

2008-10-03T23:46:00.000+01:00

6 minutes of awesomeness!

Calm Down Dear...

2008-10-03T23:40:00.000+01:00

...it's just a commercial remix!

A Micheal Winner Esure commercial remixed... get your glowsticks out!

Jesus' Last Words?

2008-10-01T00:30:00.000+01:00

Praise Ceiling Cat!

2008-10-01T00:22:00.000+01:00

For all of us who still menjoy a good bit of LOLCatz, check out the LOLCat Bible. Itz Wikid!

Praise Ceiling Cat, yu be watchin us, yu can has cheezburger.
Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly.
In ceiling and on teh flor.
Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger.
And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it.
And we furgiv wen cats steel our cookiez.
An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter.
Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too.
Forevur and evuhr. Amen.

Tinsleworm!

2008-09-30T10:36:00.000+01:00

Bill Bailey has a dvd coming out 10th November (Same day as Family Guy 7) here in the UK. Heres an audio clip from an audience member at one of the shows:

Rap-rock is still cool - I don't care what anyone else says!

2008-09-29T00:31:00.000+01:00

Korn's Johnathan Davis has teamed up with Jim Root (Slipknot/Stone Sour) to cover Lil Wayne and T-Pain's 'Get Money'. It's available for download at JD's site. I think it's awesome. Hopefully it could help inspire someone to try to perfect the whole rap-metal thing (I have faith that it could be done... just don't mention Limp Bitchshit reforming)

Top Ten Metal Cover Versions!

2008-09-28T16:46:00.000+01:00

Everyone knows I love cover versions. Heres my top ten covers by metal bands:

10. Korn/Xzibit: Fight the Power

9. Children of Bodom: Oops I did it again (Britney Spears)

8. Northern Kings: We Don't Need Another Hero (Tina Turner)

7. Arsis: Gangstas Paradise (Coolio)

6. In Flames: Land of Confusion (Genesis)

5. Killswitch Egange: Holy Diver (Dio)

4. Children of Bodom: Bed of Nails (Alice Cooper)

3. Cradle of Filth: Devil Woman (Cliff Richard)

2. Dispatched: The Final Countdown (Europe)

1. Throwdown: Baby Got Back (Sir Mixalot)

Other notable covers (not all metal) you should look for are: 'This is Halloween' (Marilyn Manson), Temptation (Cradle of Filth), 'Gimme Gimme Gimme' (Sinergy), 'Ghost Riders in the Sky' (Children of Bodom), 'Land of Confusion' (Disturbed), 'Master of Puppets' (Trivium), 'Light My Fire' (Amorphis), 'Loosing My Religion' (Graveworm), 'My Heart Will Go On' (New Found Glory), 'Express Yourself' (Stretch Armstrong), 'Get This Party Started' (Stretch Armstrong), 'Umbrella' (All Time Low), 'Gin & Juice' (Hot Rod Circuit), ...

Thats Gangsta...

2008-09-28T16:29:00.000+01:00

Artas have covered Coolio's classic "Gangstas Paradise" on their new album 'The Healing. The track is up on their myspace.

As a bonus, here's the cover by one of my fave groups Ten Masked Men

The Evil Jim Carey!

2008-09-28T13:07:00.000+01:00

I recently heard of Jason Rouse; a stand up comedian with a love for metal and being tasteless. I thought 'Awesome!', so I checked him out.

I'm not a fan... Ok, I had only his websites videos and Youtube to go buy, but I was dissapointed.

However...

Check out his awesome video of him being Chad Kroueger (that poodle headed retard from Nickleback) http://www.jasonrouse.com/home.html (go to the videos page and click on Star TV: wannabe)

Kung Fu Kids vs Dad

2008-09-26T18:40:00.000+01:00

Super Iron-Fist kombat EX

2008-09-26T18:01:00.000+01:00

Youtube is awesome... Fighting games are awesome... Gamers with too much time on their hands... awesome!

"Real" Tekken:

"real" Street Fighter:

"Real" Mortal Kombat:

G is for Gangsta

2008-09-26T17:34:00.000+01:00

This is one of the best things I have ever seen!

The cure for blindness...

2008-09-26T17:17:00.000+01:00

Fed up of that porno killing your eyesight? Not liking your palms being so furry? Well the guys at Diesel have solved your problems:

Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

The End is Nigh... STILL!

2008-09-25T16:48:00.001+01:00

After the scientists behind the Hadron Collider failed to destroy the world, I thought "what have I got to look forward to now?". I then heard that the machine was broken, probably due to gremlins, fundamentalists , or fundamentalist gremlins . Now the end of the world has been put off until at least next spring. I have the feeling it will break again, or just wont destroy the universe like it's supposed to (the madder the scientist, the more flawed the designs).

The world has been prophesised to end in 2012, with the rollover of the Mayan calendar. I too believe 2012 to be the year that Yaldabaoths creation is destroyed, however the Mayans have nothing to do about it...

(Produced by automatic drawing)

We won't even reach the rollover. At roughly June 2012, I predict that the end of the world will co-incide with Big Brother UK 13! I believe this because, here in the west, the number 13 is seen as negative. Big Brother is also negative - The creation of 'celebrities' from the countrys most retarded has to be the work of the antichrist. My other reasons... I don't need another reason to believe! If thousands can fear the end from the LHC, which is baseless (especially when the fundies who believe it have different prophesies concerning the end), I surely have the right to attempt to add to the climate of fear with my more realistic theory!?

I dunno... I'm pretty much blogging for the sake of blogging...

Saw 5 is coming!

2008-09-25T01:05:00.000+01:00

...and the first scene has been released for us to stain our briefs over:

Doesn't it look cool!? I think so anyway. However, how long until the series goes downhill?

As a bonus, here are some other Saw related youtube vids:

Lego Saw:

Jigsaws End:

Saw Parody (the best one!):

Latin-Jazz-Metal!

2008-09-25T00:43:00.000+01:00

For my first post, I thought I'd share one of the coolest things I have recently found:

Combo De La Muerte - Tropical Steel

This album is the shizznit! Anyone who knows me well knows I'm a sucker for metal-related cover versions - and this album rocks my socks. It's perfect for a summer party (shame our short summer has come and gone). How could anyone not dance to this?

Tracks:

1. Projecto Satanico

2. Breaking the Law (Judas Priest)

3. South of Heaven (Slayer)

4. I Wanna Be Somebody (W.A.S.P.)

5. Peace Sells (Megadeth)

6. Venganza Del Infierno

7. Mama I'm Coming Home (Ozzy Osbourne)

8. Wrathchild (Iron Maiden)

9. Collection By Blood (Dismember)

10. Te Gusta El Metal

11. Highway to Hell (AC/DC)

12. Pull the Plug (Death)

13. Eat the Rich (Motorhead)

14. Levantate Joven Guerrero

15. Defender (Manowar)

16. Power and Glory (Saxon)

17. Come to the Sabbath (Mercyful Fate)

18. Black Sabbath (Black Sabbath)

19. Triunfo Final

20. You Suffer (Bonus Track) (Napalm Death)

Damn thats good! My personal fave: Highway to Hell is enough to get anyone jumping. However, I know records like this arent for everyone, so you might want to download first; so here's the link to rapidshare: http://rapidshare.com/files/145200210/CDLM-TS.rar